Friday, May 11, 2007

So...I'm a terrorist? What?

This has been going around on the blogs lately, and of course I want to put in my $0.02.

An item that's been listed in several FBI pamphlets that points to terrorism is "defense of the Constitution against the federal government".


Here's a list of links where you can read the documents themselves, as well as the opinions of some fellow bloggers (thanks to Say Uncle! for the links, and the original heads-up):

Phoenix FBI Joint Terrorism Task Force pamplet (.pdf file)

No Quarters checks himself against the list.

Mother Jones is apparently a prime target.

Say Uncle! reflects on the implementation of religious institutions in the fight against individual opinions about the government.

Info Wars points out that, apparently, if you're a nice guy who wears Levis and travels with your kids, you're a terrorist.

Another reflection by Info Wars on the specifics of the pamphlets.

Prison Planet: "Believe in Property Rights? You're a terrorist!"

MY opinion? Pretty much the same as Danny's: Fascism doesn't like competition.

And, of course, I have to check myself against the lists to see if I'm a terrorist according to these guys. Things in bold are what I identify with. Things crossed out are things that don't apply to me. Things left alone are too stupid for me to bother with, don't apply to me, or are so vague and general that I can't tell what the hell they're referring to. (Oh, wait...that's the whole list...)

Here's what Phoenix thinks a terrorist is:

  • Defenders of the U.S. Constitution against federal government and the UN
  • Groups of individuals engaging in para-military training (Uh, does shooting at a range count?)
  • Those who make numerous references to the U.S. Constitution
  • Those who attempt to police the police
  • Lone individuals
  • Rebels

Uh-oh. Not looking good for Yours Truly.

Virginia says that these types of people can be terrorists:

  • Members of anti-government and militia movements
  • Property rights activists
  • Members of racist, separatist, and hate groups
  • Environmental and animal rights activists (though I'm not PETA-level...those people are fucking insane)
  • Religious extremists
  • Members of street gangs

The same Virginia manual says terrorists carry the following:

  • Sketch pads or notebooks
  • Maps or charts (I HATE getting's a fear of mine.)
  • Still or video cameras
  • Hand-held tape recorders (I'm a VOICE student. We're required to record ourselves and listen to recordings, for fuck's sake)
  • SCUBA equipment
  • Disguises (Does a pair of sunglasses in your purse count?)

Texas? What do you think? What are the characteristics a terrorist might display?

  • Focused and committed (well, when I want something)
  • Team-oriented and disciplined
  • Familiar with their physical environments (Again, the getting lost thing...)
  • Employ a variety of vehicles and communicate by cell phone, email, or text messaging
  • Try not to draw attention to themselves
  • Look like students, tourists, or businesspersons (Uh, I AM all of the above)
  • Travel in a mixed group of men, women, and children (I have a big family)
  • Avoid confrontations with law enforcement (Am I supposed to punch cops or something?)
  • Use disguises or undergo cosmetic surgery

That list sounds, alternately, like a job description for a stockbroker, politician, and porn star. Well, fuck...that's most of America, and all of Washington, D.C., not to mention Hollywood (why hasn't Alec Baldwin been arrested yet?).

I'm a loner, I've been described as a "rebel" (because I'm not a conformist), I like my sketchbooks and journals (to draw and record quotes in, because I have ADD, and it keeps me occupied so that I don't get antsy), I believe that our Constitution is in place for a reason, and I intend to defend it until the day I die. I believe that every American should be able to own a gun not only to defend themselves from the everyday variety of homo erectus, but also the governmentus fucktardius, a rare creature that's becoming more prevalent as the years wear on. That's what the Second Amendment is for, actually, to give people the right to form a militia should our government get out of hand. Our forefathers predicted this bullshit. How about that? You'd think they'd seen it before...oh, yeah. They came from England.

I'm a Libertarian because I LOVE MY COUNTRY. If someone directly threatens the ideals by which this country was founded, of COURSE I'm going to raise a stink.

It would be UN-AMERICAN not to.

So fuck you and the horse you rode in on. I'm not changing my ideas for your agenda. I refuse to be a sheep, and I refuse to be a victim to the government that's supposed to be protecting me with THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Oh, yeah...this is me exercising my First Amendment rights, so fuck off if you're going to try to threaten me. THIS is the only rulebook I need, and the only one I need to follow, thanks.

And there are more of us than you think. So pay attention and listen to us. You might learn something.


Anonymous said...

Nice post kid. There are more of us than they think and we are law abiding Americans so don't tread on us.


Bonnie said...

Thanks, Mike. :-)

By the way, I like how you call me "kid", and it doesn't look condescending. How do you do that?! (I'm actually completely serious.) ;-)

My fangs aren't bared, but boy, they're ready. Someone steps on me, and I'm gonna bite.